Thursday, February 24

[Hisashiburi]

See for yourself. My hair is longer than it was. This is a fact. Something that I know. So go on, tell me about it. May as well, everybody else does.

Brooke thinks I might need to colour it a mid brown and get really thin dreadlocks (a surprisingly ethnic notion, coming from her)... I'm interested but not convinced.

posted by peter at 17:18 .......

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Wednesday, February 23

[Keep out the cold]

Granted they may be practical, but I think this season's most disappointing fashion trend is those vile puffy North Face jackets and related spin-offs. Especially, oh especially the full length varieties. Just where Michelin Man chic sprouted from is beyond me, but why deliberately wear something that makes you look like a plump tube? Why?

It's like Day of the Tentacle in Tokyo sometimes as people totter about all tube-like in their mountain climbing apparel. Is it a giant octopus lurching in from Tokyo bay? No, it's Akira and Kyoko wearing their bloody North Face jackets again. Oh even now I look across the cafe and see one, and it's bright orange.

Then again, who am I to speak when my last purchase was a pink cotton shirt with press-stud buttons and a sakura floral print? Oh I love it. And I bought a pink acrylic blend long sleeved v-neck to layer it with. So, yes, such things possibly deserve a bitchy outcry as well, oh who do you think you are in your fancy pink outfit?

Anyway, from those in the know: salmon pinks, woodland greens, folklore themes... may have said it before but there's no harm in repetition when getting ahead for next season, spring will creep up on you before you know it otherwise, so start beading those accessories now.

posted by peter at 10:57 .......

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Monday, February 21

[In the time that I have]

Had a bit of a fight with the French housemate the other night, during which I told him he was acting like an unintelligent child and he said I would have trouble finding future happiness.

So the week has been uneventful.

Went bowling again last night and got 135, best score ever. I told everyone that this achievement meant I could now happily retire, so let's hope the message gets through because I don't know how many more high fives I can handle.

The thing that worries me most about living in London? Having to set up in the suburbs. I live in Tokyo city now. THE CITY! But in London I could never affort to get a flat anywhere near the centre. There is, in theory, nothing wrong with the suburbs but I don't know if I can move half a world away and be 45 tube stops removed from where I want to be.

Rose and lemongrass tea really does make one feel like they are drinking dissolved air freshener, doesn't it? I think I'll stick to verveinne mint from now on.

posted by peter at 11:24 .......

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Thursday, February 17

[Get it together]

Is hideously humid weather reason enough to leave a city you love living in? Because that is kind of what is driving me out of Tokyo.

It's not humid now, but I know what happens. Give it a few months.

How does one cope with it? My body just isn't designed for tropical conditions. What is the secret? How does one keep from transforming into a wreck of sweat, heat rash and dishevelled curls?

Just answer me this one thing and I promise I'll love you forever and then some.

Earthquakes are probably another good reason to leave. I though our house was going to implode there the other morning.

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Again I have been the victim of prowling 19-year-olds. There I was having a quiet conversation with some friends when two boys from Utah or wherever burst onto the scene in an epileptic explosion of yo, yo, yo (less intensity please) and commandeered the group in the most socially inept way.

Turns out they were lame university students and thought that since I was talking to a bunch of Japanese people it was obviously an open invitation to jump in, interrupt a private chat in the corner (it's not as if we were perched on the bar), and practise a second language. It was honestly one of the rudest displays I've endured in a while and oh how I hated them.

At the end, the better of the two idiots actually said to me that he was glad to have met me and had enjoyed the opportunity to practise his SOCIAL SKILLS. I reacted to that comment in the way it deserved.

posted by peter at 17:26 .......

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Tuesday, February 15

[Next you'll want fingerprints]

So I got stopped randomly by the police. They asked me to show ID. Randomly. On the busiest intersection in Komazawa. Right in front of my whole community.

OK, I am being melodramatic, it's who I am, but in fact it was slightly embarrassing. Like, just because I don't share the genetic manifestations typical of the region I can be stopped and forced to talk to a cop on a street corner like a common prostitute.

Violating as these experiences are, such things are a valuable lesson in what it must be like to be a member of a minority group in Australia. As if the same things don't happen there.

And I was doing a rather effective ghetto trash hoodie and running shoes look at the time.

Actually I had just been to see Oceans 12 with Mel and Sareh, and I make no apology for thoroughly enjoying it. In fact, Mel and I had gone to see it on Thursday, but halfway through the session the screen went dark and then someone was saying something and bowing and we ended up with a refund AND free tickets. Isn't it so terribly important to remember the little blessings?

Hakone never happened. In typical style it was cancelled at the last minute, and I was informed that I would meet people at a particular train station and be taken to a secret location. Which turned out to be Asakusa. Lots of fun, lots of food, lots of sugar coma due to the high GI nature of said food. We even went to that wonderful street where they sell all the plastic food models for restaurant displays. They are amazingly realistic until dust starts settling in glass cabinets. Super expensive too – a resin strawberry sundae will set you back around 5,200 yen (AU$65). Naturally I bought nothing.

Today brings all the joy that comes with being paid, and I will have to celebrate, but not with plastic food models. I'm slowly getting some savings together, but let's see how quickly London eats it up... I give it about three days at most... (yeah, I am planning to move to London in May, but nothing has been decided.)

posted by peter at 11:21 .......

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Thursday, February 10

[What did you want to ask me?]

Of all the bizarre, stupid and highly inappropriate questions I've been plied with during my illustrious *career* as an English instructor, this one really does take the biscuit and the cake and the whole damn patisserie shelf:

"So, do any of your friends in Australia have HIV?"

Must people always be so odd? And why me? Why am I always the one to get this kind of thing?

To provide some context for this, I was talking to a urologist who had told me of a 73-year-old cancer patient who had contracted the virus sometime in the last 6 months and how the hospital had feared responsibility, but after auditing all administered fluids and interviewing the patient, it turned out he had had an unsafe encounter in that time period. Japan has an extremely low prevalence of HIV, but evidently Hep C and chlamydia are running rampant and indeed some doctors have contracted the former through fingerprick injuries whilst sewing up patients after an operation.

But to ask me THAT. What was he thinking? I made a note in his file regarding a need for tactful question formation.

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In all honesty, this job really is starting to do my head in (I claimed otherwise the other day – perhaps I have experienced an epiphany). Over the space of the last few months my school has seen an almost complete staff turnover, shattering the atmosphere and leaving me to contend with bucketloads of "yo, yo, yo" attitude between lessons, which makes me sick. I miss Sarah and Marc so damn much, mainly because the hilarity-filled 10 minute break between lessons used to get me through the day, but nowadays (when the last remaining friends are on their weekends) I only have clock-out to look forward to.

In addition to this, we've had significant student turnover as well, and my goodness if some of the new ones aren't among the dullest individuals on the face of this good green earth. Nervousness can only go so far (surely!), and don't play that "cultural difference" card with me because why else do you want to learn this damn language if not to talk to 'foreigners'? If I get one more answer of "so so" or "nothing special" to a question like "how was your day?", I think I'm going to pry out my patellas in a frenzy of bored frustration.

If I actually keep to that I'll be a knock-kneed layabout by 11am Saturday, I promise you.

So something has to change. If there's one thing I'm aware of it's my need for change, and I've got the urge for going.

Do I sound dissatisfied on this website? I think I do. The tone of the last few posts is somewhat less than bouncing bunnies and little fluffy clouds. Perhaps I'm just venting, because I am upbeat on the whole.

Whatever the case, a trip to Hakone tomorrow should help things, one would hope.

posted by peter at 20:23 .......

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Tuesday, February 8

[Run down, don't need this]

Oh fucking, fucking Blogger. Because it refuses to publish my email posts, let alone alert me to the fact that there is a problem, the following two (old) posts are being published manually.

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Number 1: [Plonk!]

Mel fell off the treadmill at the gym the other day. It is among the most hilarious things I have ever seen.

After being conveyed and dumped off the moving belt, she grimaced and clutched her leg, clearly in moderate pain, at which point an American woman materialised beside us. Smiling, she asked, bizarrely, "how was it?"

* pause for comprehension *

"How was WHAT?" replied Mel. Like, oh yeah, it was just super.

"Does it hurt?" the lady queried.

* another pause *

I don't understand people's questions sometimes. All I had to say was "Mel, this isn't funny now, but it WILL be."

Oh and it IS!

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Number 2: [Half truths]

So Sarah told some students an abject lie (about me supposedly topping my university) shortly before she quit work last August. It came around (I can't really say back) to haunt me when the 'fact' was declared in class.

I neither confirmed nor denied.

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Haven't we all just caught up on things now, oh welcome to the 21st century and all the technological luxuries it brings, Google-backed email fuckups and all (ooh, is that gonna get me blocked from search engines?). I've been well, highlight of the last few days was one very excellent drum'n'bass party in some Shibuya basement; I danced all night and then went to work.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate children? Um, I think I have. So yesterday I got to teach two in a row. I think aside from the fact that it is impossible to hold a conversation with someone with underdeveloped cognitive skills, it is sheer megalomania that puts me off children. Not my megalomania, but theirs. Help us all if we don't meet the exact needs of the toddler, as another storm of wailing martyrdom is unleashed upon us. I just can't put up with it, and I have nothing to offer. Nothing.

I would be the most inept parent in the world and that is why my decision has been made. Never ever.

(I'm happy for those who can do it by the way. More power to ya... amazing strength I think...)

posted by peter at 13:15 .......

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Tuesday, February 1

[Neko]

So Blogger's email posting is obviously fucked at the moment. Therefore, here is a word-for-word recreation of a post I sent through last Saturday.

Oh yuck, we have the three grossest cats hanging around our house: Kendra, Alison and Roxanne.

This morning I saw Kendra lurking outside the shower window, so I splashed her with water. Our shower has a window that opens directly outside; in fact, if you look through it you can see all the way to the street and watch the world go by.

These cats give me the creeps because they are always staring in at us, especially Roxanne, and she has the most unsettlingly flighty demeanour. Our house has a lot of windows so they have no difficulty looking at us (nor do the neighbours for that matter).

And how did I spend 8,000 yen in the last 24 hours? Getting stranded in Kichijoji didn't help matters, but I've got to alter my lifestyle nonetheless.

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As for today... This weather is ridiculously good; crisp, sunny, breezy... the odd leaf blustering about, etcetera. Recently I've been into live electronica, which they have at Ruby Room every Monday night. Last night we held French Nadia's last day of work drinks there. It's not really a space for ethnic handicrafts despite the live didgeridoo, so I fulfilled that urge at Pink Cow on Sunday evening, as Hippie Nadia was up from the beach and there was a bit of post-fire twirling chit chat there, even though I didn't and may well never fire twirl. The thought of being hit in the face with a flaming poi doesn't really inspire me.

People keep pointing out that my hair is long. Guess what? I know. I know this. It is a fact. A fact that I am aware of. An interesting aspect of my current job is that one becomes acutely aware of the ways of conversation, and as everyone knows, one of the best initiators is to mention something obvious. This is fine, it's a useful device, but hour after hour it becomes tiring. And it's hard to answer the 'why' question. Why is my hair long? Because I need it for London, I don't fucking know.

I still generally enjoy my job, and I think it reinforces that I love being in contact with people and must never be trapped behind a computer. And fixed working hours are essential. Absolutely essential. I love them.

So that's that. Anyway, I've finished my $7 latte, am almost ready for work and yes, I would give my heart gladly.

posted by peter at 11:48 .......

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