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Saturday, March 27
[...]posted by peter at 21:03 .......It's fine. She just called. :)
[Intercity]posted by peter at 20:56 .......Work was so easy and fun today. A complete blast.
But the current situation is this: Sonia is meant to be back from Hiroshima by now but I still haven't heard from her. Hmmm. Not the best situation, especially since I have no way of contacting her. I'm sure she's OK but I hope she's not lost in some oppressive urban environment at night.
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[Happy Nihon days]posted by peter at 20:57 .......It is so good to have Sonia here! Just the best!
We've just been to Kyoto. Maybe some photos when I can be bothered.
She arrived after I'd had a filthy day at work... not even worth going into... but I cheered up immediately. She's in Hiroshima tonight. I shipped her off there from Kyoto because she's got a rail pass that makes it as cheap as anything. As for me, I have to work tomorrow. :(
My flatmate seems reluctant to let me use the computer tonight, despite charging me 1,500 yen per month for the privilege. The price has just risen from 1,000. Is this extortion? I've got some emailing to do but that will have to wait.
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I found this amazing quote in Stendhal's Love:
"In a fine castle near Paris I have just met a handsome, witty, wealthy young man of less than twenty; he chanced to be left almost alone there for a long time with an extremely beautiful girl of eighteen, talented, remarkably intelligent, and also very rich. Who would not have expected a passion to ensue? Nothing of the sort; both these pretty creatures were so eaten up with affectation that they were concerned only with themselves and with the effect they ought to produce upon each other."
What kind of truths does this speak?
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[At the Dungeonattica]posted by peter at 21:20 .......
[Elemental]posted by peter at 21:18 .......I'm also confused about the whole Kyoto protocol thing. I could be wrong but suspect the only reason Japan is a signatory is because they are unashamedly nuclear and outsource unclean industry to China. This is pure speculation though. Meanwhile China is not a signatory because they are modernising at the expense of anything old or natural, and the US is apparently threatened by China and won't sign on because it may leave them lagging in the superpower stakes.
As for Australia, well we have John Howard. And too many cars.
I don't actually know the ins and outs of it all, so this truly is uninformed banter (and I would appreciate any valid information/correction). But I do wonder about it all.
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And I'm having a spiritual crisis. It's not a loss of faith but I'm wondering how my faith fits into this world. Can faith evolve? How? My belief in God is absolute, but at times I feel distant. Very distant.
And I get angry and disenchanted at fundamentalist thinking that would consign every driver of every passing car to hell purely because of an accident of geography. And I wonder at misinterpretation. And I wonder at convenient interpretation. And I wonder at intervention and I wonder at signs and I wonder at wonders. Angels everywhere.
On the bridge between carriageways with waters above and water below and one confused soul standing weakly in the night in the eastern part of the northern hemisphere.
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[See no evil, hear no evil]posted by peter at 00:38 .......Just when I'd reached the point of hating nearly everyone in this country because of rampant displays of blatant rudeness (the kindness thing has all but evaporated, maybe you only get a week or so's allocation) I got to have a lesson with Mrs Glorious from Osaka who now lives in Tokyo. She cooks everything in earthen pots to save energy – she only needs to heat the pots for three minutes and then they continue to cook the food because of their thermal density. She then explained all the locally available recycling schemes in intricate detail.
It was so refreshing to have a conversation about environmental issues, because sometimes I feel like I am living in the Land of No Conscience. Charity? What's that? Old growth forests? Who needs 'em?
It's all about the economy. Seriously, people seem to define their lives according to pre- and post-bubble. Oh how that bubble did burst.
Forgive my cynicism but it's not all sweetness and light here in North East Asia.
I'm just getting a bit fed up with insular attitudes that border on ignorance, particularly with regards to xenophobia (which in fact borders on racism, no sorry, IS racism) and chauvanism (which in fact borders on male supremacy, but hey it's probably not so bad being a housewife with department stores like Takashimaya at one's disposal). Don't get me started on animal rights, let alone human rights (China needs sweat shops apparently).
I disallow the use of the word 'race' in my lessons. I only accept 'groups', as in 'groups of people'. I'm no expert in semantics, but it seems to me that the word 'racist' describes someone who espouses the notion of 'race', in much the same way as 'Marxist' describes someone who espouses the ideals of Marx. Since 'racist' has a negative meaning, it would follow that 'race' does too, but as I said, I'm no semantic expert.
Logical proofs aside, words like 'race' suggest that the differences between population groups go beyond minor genetic manifestations, and I abhor such ideas. So, 'groups' it is.
Anyway, I just get a bit irritated every now and then. Every day I become more and more misanthropic, which is really starting to worry me.
I know I've made some gross generalisations here, but I can be forgiven for that can't I?
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[~~~~~~~]posted by peter at 11:25 .......Isn't it funny how the best plans and intentions in the world can degenerate into a morning spent lolling about in one's pyjamas?
Call me when I'm not housebound...
[So many restaurants, so little time]posted by peter at 00:35 .......The less said about the 'gospel' event the better because it was in fact a thinly disguised church singalong with mismatched instruments, bizarre testimonials and interpretive dance, I do not lie. The spirit was good but I felt somewhat cheated.
I'm revelling in my post pay day enthusiasm, which I celebrated with a spontaneous nosebleed between classes which got me out of teaching a bunch of low levels.
It's rather sobering to think that I've done well over 500 lessons by now... everything is a measure of time ticking away, but is it 24 and insecure or 24 and more and more??
What-the-fuck-ever Trevor. The other good news is that I've officially given notice that I will vacate my apartment next month. Reasons cited? "I am leaving my apartment because I find it to be overpriced and unsuitable for my needs. It was however a convenient place to initially move into, and made the first few weeks in Japan quite easy." Was that inappropriate or just telling it like it is? It's a thin line.
A parting thought: chocolate coated potato chips. From Hokkaido. Actually not as entirely creepy as they sound. Actually surprisingly good.
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[Today with the newsprint grey]posted by peter at 20:26 .......So can Nick Kershaw's Wouldn't it be good be classed in the groovy 80s appeal category? Could go either way.
Mine is a world of turmeric at the moment after I got all the spice proportions wrong in tonight's curry. So I've overdosed on turmeric and chilli, and I'm not really sure why it didn't turn out well. Maybe because I lacked certain ingredients.
I can't tell you how 'into' organic produce I am... there is a noticeable difference in flavour that goes beyond the placebo effect; I kid you not, I've got the most amazing tomatoes and pumpkin at the moment.
And I love buying things that seem expensive. Really. It feels like a massive spending spree even though the difference is just 80 yen. I don't like rip-offs but I do like pricey items.
I've had the most beautifully virtuous and restorative day – the furthest I ventured from home was the short walk to Tama Plaza where I simply indulged in more virtuous and restorative things, whilst wearing my new jacket no less. As long as I'm disciplined and go to bed at a sensible hour I should be back at work tomorrow in reasonably fine form.
Someone from our Japanese class is a gospel singer and tomorrow night we're going to see her perform. Oh there's just no severing community ties, is there? It's nice to have things to look forward to.
[Airborne]posted by peter at 10:22 .......My first class with a child was mercifully straightforward; the kid was chilled out and easy to keep amused. I've started doing demo lessons too, in which I provide a condensed lesson to prospective students while the sales staff flitter nearby in anticipation. So there's a slight sprinkling of variety in my day.
I have decided to give notice on my apartment in three days and therefore vacate it next month. It will be five months in this overpriced hovel by then, well and truly time for a change, and I will move into either my own private apartment or some kind of guest house. Would one go insane living by oneself? Oh the decisions we face in life.
It will just be good to get out of the cycle of paying rent in arrears, something my extortionate employers use as a means of trapping new recruits in their overpriced accommodation... hmm, paying too much and having the pleasure of cleaning up after others... what a marvellous situation!
It's my day off and I am out of my mind with elated mania. I hope to restore myself with a book in a local cafe. Let's face it, I don't have to go to Harajuku every week and it will benefit me greatly to do as little as possible today.
Yesterday we were treated to humidity AND yellow dust which blew in from China's Gobi Desert. It was vile. I could feel it coating my skin.
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[Food for the people]posted by peter at 10:29 .......The great bruschetta event came and went in a flurry of chopping, toasting, ill-fitting slippers and loose apron strings, and since only three pieces (from two huge platters) were left at the end of the meal I think we can rest assured that the people dug it.
The community vibe was amazing; all the old Japanese people loved it, you could just tell, as they ran around retrieving knives and utensils and taking photo after photo after photo. One of them even taught me how to chop red onion.
And the spectacular array of food that resulted from the combined Chinese, Korean, Japanese, French and Mod-Oz knowhow was simply amazing. I'd had my reservations about vegetarian content, but there was an enormous amount of choice; not only the amazingly coconutty glutinous rice or the barely-there crepes with fresh fruit, but also a panoply of offerings from the Asian region, one suspects either a strict Buddhist influence from the Chinese group or else a budgetary constraint (we didn't have to pay for any of this by the way; it was provided by the city) that ruled out fresh flesh. Or maybe mad cow disease.
How the old people loved it; we had a beaming audience when it finally came time to spoon out the topping onto our interesting 'Australian' creation. A bit unusual, bit different.
It truly was a festival of cooperation as everyone fought (collaboratively) for bench space (we were tightly sandwiched between the French crepe guy and several gas hobs)... and the cleanup only served to reinforce that wonderful old adage "many hands make light work", as one of the Americans delighted in pointing out.
Work went quickly and then it was more Japanese revision; I'm starting to have minor epiphanies about aspects of the language now. I've had third-party validation about my new jacket so I officially like it now (because I could never make these decisions alone). Last night was almost warm and again the city seemed otherworldly as I strolled home at around 1am.
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[Remind me baby of you]posted by peter at 21:09 .......If only you could have seen me. Not only was it high-fives all round in today's kids training, but I even had to go the high-ten on more than one occasion. I could have died; I can't believe that living people saw me doing these things. Not to mention holding hands and singing in circles. Never! Absolutely never!
I survived relatively unscathed, despite enduring a noxious person who I tried to like but couldn't due to his being intent on crushing anybody's opinions (not to mention place of residence) with scornful and vastly pretentious sentences. He was one of these "ooh I'm an artist living in central Tokyo" types who refused to identify the media he works with (it was "difficult to explain" apparently), continually referred to his amazing friends, and seemed bent on making other people feel insignificant. The funny thing was that it was so blindingly obvious that he was simply trying to mask his own deep-seated personal insecurities... and I just couldn't be bothered waging the war of who knew the most obscure electronic music or avante garde art spaces... I let it rest with simple sentences that elicited as little negative exploration as possible.
I just bought some Thai rice which is apparently a specialty item here. Yes, regular rice that you can buy for next to nothing in Australia comes at a premium in this city, but secretly I think that's half the fun of being here because it gives one an excuse to poke around in gorgeous food shops. My diet has changed a lot actually; instead of carbohydrates I'm consuming large amounts of vegetable protein, as well as refined sugars but I'm never going to give up chocolate until the day I die.
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[A shanty town]posted by peter at 23:49 .......Well I really pulled myself together early this afternoon, and no small task was that. No real reason; I just began the day in a state of poor clarity, and if it wasn't for an opening class of fabulously energetic low-level students (bless that museum curator and her pals) I would have sunk rather quickly.
But I think I swam.
And the ever-abundantly-glorious Jordy suggested coffee after work and so it was off to Starbucks to see and be seen in my grandpa cardigan that doubles very well as a somewhat smart work jacket, particularly with scarves. And I've warmed to Friday's snap purchase... I reckon I can do something spectacular with my new garment; I just need the time and the place.
So things look up in unexpected ways, behind every mulberry bush is a tiny squirrel dancing with the bounty of winter's larder, and that my friends is nothing if not reassuring.
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[Chamber]posted by peter at 18:42 .......If I'm not careful Womack & Womack's Teardrops is going to become my defining song of Tokyo, although Belle and Sebastian's I'm a cuckoo will come a very close second. Maybe.
I feel empowered through having said "no" to an invitation. Really, there comes a point in one's life where one has to accept that in order to prevent physical (not to mention financial) exhaustion it is necessary to make refusals. Plain and simple. No.
Of course once you've burnt every bridge and are wallowing in the friendless mire you may regret heeding this advice, but until that day I think there's some wisdom in it.
Last night's Verdi Requiem was amazing; it's a beautiful piece of music and it was so nice to see a classical performance again. It's all too easy to overlook cultural stimulation in this city (my recently unopened copy of Anna Karenina will testify to that). The four soloists were wonderful indeed, even if two of them were dressed in lurid sacks, I'll never understand operatic couture. One of them looked like she could launch into a martial arts routine at any second, Crouching Tiger style, which would have been interesting.
Work was a slog today but I'm still alive and had enough energy to manage the "no".
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[Socialisation policy]posted by peter at 18:31 .......Oh no.
I've done one of those stupid things. I wasn't happy with the black jacket + jeans combo (the material was verging on imitation leather too, which is so not my scene) so I grabbed another nearby jacket that looked vaguely wicked, tried it on and thought "this is half the price of the black one so I'm going to get it."
An interesting decision, really.
Picture a full-on military fit with quasi-camouflage style smears of black velvet on a brown denim background and, wait for it, skull buttons on the shoulder loops and neck brace thing. Why did I buy this?
Why?
I'm not sure if I can even do a post-ironic look with it because it might just totally fail and look regular ironic.
Maybe if I wear a Snoopy tshirt underneath? Snoopy is big in Harajuku at the moment, it seems.
Why did I buy this jacket? It was cheap so I don't really care, having parted with maybe the equivalent of two days' food rations, but does such a garment really befit my possession? That's the question which must be posed at this point.
The travel agent thing was a disaster so I just rang Sonia and told her to book Kyoto accommodation from Australia. Yes it was lazy but after getting shunted from Shibuya to Shinjuku and then being told in a rather blunt way that I could not be helped, I kind of lost patience and tossed aside the notion of possibly saving money. As part of my very few very expensive things philosophy it seems better just to pay more and have things done simply and without fuss.
I get by as best I can – it's hard being post-whatever.
[Colours]posted by peter at 09:31 .......Well a day off, what a novelty in my half-month of overwork. Natsumi won so many points with me the other day when she described my hair colour as 'ash' and said it was a really difficult colour to achieve artificially. That partially diminished my 'mouse grey' complex and totally boosted her in the popularity stakes.
Will I or won't I buy the long aforementioned black cracked-vinyl jacket today??? Hmm, it depends how it looks with a different pair of jeans. I've got a lot on my plate this fine morning, what with the usual dilly dallying and a much needed venture to an English speaking travel agent in preparation for Sonia's visit.
Yesterday I reached complete happiness after a parcel from The Bitches arrived in the mail. Not only had they made no less than two fab compilation CDs (with that milkshake song indeedy thankyou very much) but they also sent me a collage they'd assembled with pictures of Yazz. The only way IS up and that's the way my mood went yesterday after that little package showed up in my letterbox. Those Bitches (the word looks harsh but sounds endearing) rock, no doubt about it.
And the compilation CD titles? Tha bitchy boobs wish list and Hate cha guts out... oh I fucken love it.
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[Shouldn't be working]posted by peter at 10:14 .......Bruschetta for 40 people. Next Wednesday. 40 people. How do we get into these situations?
I also have a ticket to a performance of the Verdi Requiem by the Tokyo International Singers... free tix from an ex-American who comes to our Japanese lessons. I'm not sure what she's cooking next week, maybe crepes, but I appreciated her efforts in trying to ascertain where I can buy Thai-style rice, which I infinitely prefer to the gluggy Japanese varieties.
Life continues to be weird... there's something endearing about the fabulously rich old ladies who study English for fun and tell me about their last holiday to Okinawa where they stayed in hotels that were "maybe 5 star" and then cackle behind Chanel frames. I love all the different students. We have a geisha, an opera singer, a ballet dancer, countless computer engineers, actors, the wife of a massively famous J-pop singer (she told me one of her Armani suits shrunk after she accidentally washed it, but seemed not in the least bit perturbed), at least one screenwriter, a mobile phone designer, department store staff, bankers, high school English teachers, housewives, a pilot, air hostesses, other types of hostesses, people who invented all those electronic gadgets which make life possible, bored university students and our fair share of truly unusual people. I find it all pretty interesting but it definitely has its moments.
I should be on my weekend but I have to work because of shift swaps... I'm getting some days off when my beautiful sister arrives later this month.
Last night I tried cooking organic deep sea konnyaku for the first time (I'm not sure what the 'deep sea' is all about, I'm under the impression it's made from potatoes). It's good with paprika. I'd never seen konnyaku in Australia, and basically it's a big gelatinous lump (with no vile gelatine by the way) that quivers on the chopping board and initially smells like that hideous plastic glue but cooks up well with paprika and garlic and light soy sauce and leafy vegies. Very healthy, or so my Japanese friends say. It was nice enough to warrant making it again.
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[Nihongo de]posted by peter at 23:57 .......I have such a slack attitude towards my Japanese study, and this is manifesting itself in my dreams. My night-time adventures have had me convinced that I am back at uni, in week 8 of the semester, having only just realised that I'm enrolled in four subjects, not three, and have thus done no work in the fourth. Go figure.
The problem is that in Tokyo-Yokohama there is just no need to speak Japanese. Nobody speaks English, but there's enough going on to get by. Had I been flung into some rural outpost (heaven forbid) I probably would have had to sink or swim (and eat meat again) and would be semi-fluent by now. It's frustrating that pure unadulterated laziness is preventing my acquisition of a potentially useful skill.
So what, exactly, am I going to do when I return to Australia?? Luckily I've got Berlin and New York to get through first. Surely an answer will float delicately into my hands on the streets of Manhattan.
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[What's your vector Victor?]posted by peter at 23:52 .......Every now and then my happy veneer becomes a little transparent and I forget that actually life is good and that I really don't want for anything much (in terms of the fundamentals, don't get me started on the superfluities). Yeah, it's all about me, after all.
But that's the funny thing about small-scale depression; it seems to block rational thought and fuzz one's mind with self indulgent mopiness that spirals and feeds upon itself. Not that I'm waxing pathological or anything, but every so often (like anyone else) I have my bad days and feel that horrible pull which I remember so well from times when it was a little more severe, namely early high school and mid university.
And I'm not IN ANY WAY implying that depression is selfish (or that confusion is sex – sorry, couldn't resist that completely irrelevant statement, gotta incorporate album titles whenever possible.) I'm just fascinated by its grip and vigilant in its management. Without wanting to appear hypochondriac, I suspect I have a slight predisposition and I don't want to take any chances.
So, anyway. Everything's fine. (I type as the theme from Love Story commences its plaintive notes on my minimalistic CD player.)
I was really sad to say goodbye to my boss tonight; she's been so completely cool and understanding and chilled out and fun to work with, as well as non-anal-retentive and non-egotistical and non-corporate-drone-like. What more could one ask for, really? The good news is that we will not have a new boss in the near future, thus encouraging the continuation of the wonderful ambience that lingers in our school. And in other good news, the new J-staff seem really cool, and have already demonstrated great humour and impressive English ability.
So I'm retaining a positive attitude.
In my lunch break (which was actually early evening), Sarah and I walked across the bridge over the Tama river and saw the cusp of Tokyo/Kawasaki in all its postmodernistic glory, Wim Wenders style, while cars roared past on one side and express trains on the other. I love these moments.
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